Friday, January 08, 2010


The best ideas come in the loo they say,in my case the bike too. So much so that I often don't know how I land up at my destination.Now when I say bike,I mean a battered old Activa(Lest you imagine a grand Thunderbird,a la Lara Croft).

Before I wander off again,I have for a long time been wanting to pen my thoughts as they appear.So I let it wander for five minutes(or ten or twenty,can't tell) until I feel that a comprehensible amount of clarity has transpired.Then I realize I can't remember a single thing in that entire thread of wandering.The wandering felt good while it lasted but its almost as if those doctors from Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind erased a part of my brain.You would think clarity in confusion is a sparse commodity and one would remember it.Nope.Nothing.Zilch.Nada.

Call it the privilege of the creative,but absentmindedness has its bright side.The nothingness leads to a new seed, the refusal to jot it down leads to more know the routine.As the haziness continues, I begin to wonder if my brain is made up of something greyer than grey matter.Maybe dingy winter evening. Maybe I should call up Nerolac.Maybe I should stop making quadriplegic jokes and get on with it. But while we're on the subject of grey, when grey gets greyer does it move towards white or black? Any information will be appreciated.

I must warn you though,that I'm a big optimist.Contrary to the belief of many ,I am anything but a pessimist,or at least optimistic about becoming an optimist :) I trust there will be many more disconnected trails in the future, so wildly unique that I'm sure I'll remember it.Many months, many showers and many drafts later..Here I am.Blogging with a list of points in front of me. *Sigh*.

Then I look at my earlier posts and wonder what crossed my mind when I wrote them.Did I write them 'cause I wanted to or is this what I want to project? Don't know.I sure as hell don't see myself connecting so much with those experiences now.I can recognize a shade of me in those posts but that isn't me in totality. This vague person who is trying to piece the puzzle together is more me.Or has the protagonist changed so much that she can't recognize herself anymore? 'Don't know'..That seems to be my recurring mantra of late.And to think that all the decisions I've made so far stem from this never ending stream of don't knows.

Somewhere in all the fog,I hear my mom holler 'Etthana idli di?' and I'm jolted back to reality.Tomorrow will be a new day and a fresh round of idlis and don't knows.

Song for the day :

" Simone..
You're getting older,
Your journey's been
Etched on your skin

Wish I had known that,
What seemed so strong
Has been and gone

I would call you up every Saturday night,
And we both stayed out 'til the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973..
Singing "Here we go again"

Wish I was sober,
So I could see clearly now
The rain has gone.

I guess it's over,
My memory plays our tune..
The same old song.

And though time goes by,
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973.

(After all this you didn't really expect the song to be connected to the post,did you?!!)

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